Art Saved My Day
I’m approaching retirement age, and I’m a alcoholic.
Yes me a alky who would have thought. I have been binge drinking Vodka for almost 20 years, secretly on my own vast amounts of the stuff, hiding the evidence, lying, cheating and stealing, every excuse to got out and buy my substance.
You see I was once a social drinker a few pints with friends and family, life and soul of the party when I got going, then I hit a big problem ( mid-life ) I had achieved everything I really wanted, good marriage, children and work wise I was ok.
But I missed the umph in my life the drama, the excitement that sort of thing. So I turned to Vodka to give me that kick, that umph. But alas it was sort lived my mood went down and I became a depressed drinker, the more I drank the more depressed I’d become, the more depressed the more I drank ( I’m sure you can get the picture).
So I have a little story to tell you. It will also go along side a few pictures I created on my journey to here. Pictures done during my stay at a rehab centre in Hemel Hempstead. The art group run by a artist volunteer called Sam, she’s the founder of a web/Instagram site called Child of :- which uses art to talk and express how addiction affects the children and people of the addict/addicts. I will talk about her work as I go on.
But first I would like to invite a friend of mine:-
This is Dowind, an image I created a few weeks ago during a particularly bad time in rehab, it is part of a family I called the Wind the others may come along later as well as others pieces I drew. I will be using the notes that I wrote while in rehab.
My road to rehab took 20 years, I was the abuser in the family, the trauma I caused my family members will be relevant for years to come, and while the hurt and mistrust I caused was alarming, I just didn’t care most of the time. It was not a physical abuse it was mental torture, they never knew who was going to turn up me or the addict and I was the addict, I didn’t shout or threaten anything like that, but I could be obnoxious I would upset people and be distant and I slept a lot.
How my family were able to put up with it, I will never really know but I have to acknowledge they did and all the support I received and didn’t deserve, but they are still here and I can’t thank them enough.
So I joined the queue to go to rehab, I couldn’t afford it myself so I went for funding, my local CGL group said they could help so the process began and after about 12 months I started my first day at the Hemel Hempstead rehab centre run by Druglink a substance misuse charity based in Hertfordshire.
Now before you go to sleep I won’t be going over every day or anything like that.
The rehab centre was a listed building on the edge of a cemetery, the floors creaked everywhere so at first it was a bit spooky.
I chose a holistic therapy approach rather than a 12 steps AA,NA,CA one, I just thought it would be better for me.
The staff were amazing although I did have many issues with them, but generally the issues were all mine. I just didn’t like the fact that I had to adhere to rules, simple things as well, but the therapy was great all the sessions and other groups helped me to be where I am now.
NEXT TIME - So that brings me back to Child Of :- I got the bug after our first group ( it was not a therapy group more one of expression….. Remember to sign up to our newsletter for new blog post and news.
